2008-10-04

Humor Comedy picture: beautiful women in and out of the mouth!

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Humor Comedy picture: beautiful women in and out of the mouth!

A man to the dentist to check that the teeth, check, the dentist asked him: "You recently KJ?" The man replied: "yes ah, to be exact, it is dry this morning. Hey, how do you know ? Is not my mouth also dipped hair? "
Dentists said: "No, I see you've got a little tip on feces."


笑话爆笑图片:在美女嘴中进进出出!

一个男人到牙医那去检查牙齿,检查的时候,牙医问他:“最近你KJ了吗?” 这人回答:“是啊,确切地说,是今早干的。咦,你怎麽知道的?是不是我嘴里还沾着毛?”
  牙医说:“不是,我看到你鼻尖上沾了一点屎。”

Humor Comedy picture: China's first JJ, to come up against Bibi

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Humor Comedy picture: China's first JJ, to come up against Bibi

In Africa, the Kingdom of the male sex organ, the longer easy to find a job
There is a male sex organ to his knees to say: ha ha I went to the knee must be very easy to find a job
He met the former bodyguard to the Imperial Palace
He said the guard asked: Do you employ to work? How long do you?
Boys: TU candidates for me to work I went to his knees
Bodyguard told him that I dragged on the floor just before you go to the palace guard, look for King to see it
Boys from the floor, a staircase onto the floor, 2 held on to things long met with Secretary of State
Asked the boys how long do you? Minister said you just up the V is the length of my
He said that the minister asked: Do you only to knee it .. .. ah well go to see the king, he was in the courtyard.
.. Found in the courtyard of boys reached the King "kite-flying" ...


笑话爆笑图片:中国第一JJ,不服拿出来比比

在非洲王国里 男生的性器官越长越容易找到工作
有一个男生 性器官到膝盖 他想说: 哈哈 我到膝盖 一定很容易找到工作
他去皇宫前 遇到侍卫
侍卫问他说: 你来应聘工作吗? 你多长?
男生说: 恩 我来应聘工作 我到膝盖
侍卫跟他说 我拖到地板才只是个侍卫 你去王宫裡找国王看看吧
男生从1楼楼梯走上2楼 扶着长长的东西 遇到了大臣
男生直接问你多长? 大臣说你刚刚伏上来的就是我的长度
大臣问他说: 你只到膝盖而已 ..嗯..好吧 去找国王看看,他在庭院中。
男生走到庭院.. 发现国王在“放风筝”...

Humor Comedy picture: sister gone to sleep

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Humor Comedy picture: sister gone to sleep

Children: "Mom, you give me 5 pence, and I give a person on the street shouting."
Mom: "It is a quasi-pathetic, also known as sympathy for the people. Child, he was shouting?"
Children: "He's in the streets shouting '5 pence a cup of ice cream'."


笑话爆笑图片:妹妹睡觉走光了

孩子:“妈妈,您给我5个便士吧,我要给一个大街上叫喊的人。”
  妈妈:“那准是一个既可怜又叫人同情的人。孩子,他在叫喊什么?”
  孩子:“他在大街上大声叫喊‘冰淇淋5个便士一杯’。”

Humor Comedy picture: the water-proof helmet

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Humor Comedy picture: the water-proof helmet

Xiaoming day via a crossroads, saw there was a mother carrying a child on a motorcycle


It also set in front of a big kid that was stopped to note ...

Note: "The wife, your kids with no helmets, you do not wear their own did not, oh, so no excuse at all."

Mom: "so small children can not buy the helmet Ye."

Note: "But you should be wearing their own ah!"

Mom: "Why do I wear? In case my children what happened, I Buxiang Huo!"

Note: "Oh ... ... ... ... @ _ @"



笑话爆笑图片:防水的安全帽

一天小明路经一个十字路口时,瞧见有位妈妈骑着摩托车背着一个小孩


前面还载一个大一点的小孩被条子拦下来…

条子说:“这位太太,你的小孩没带安全帽,你自已也没不戴,这样说不过去哦。”

妈妈:“小朋友这么小号的安全帽买不到耶。”

条子:“但你自已应该要戴啊!”

妈妈:“我戴干嘛?万一我的孩子出了什么事,我也不想活了!”

条子:“哦…… @_@ ……”

Humor Comedy picture: the beauty urine pants

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Humor Comedy picture: the beauty urine pants

Xia Yeban a woman, the man behind a plot against the law, women are afraid Shen, passing through the cemetery, the inspiration for the grave, said: Dad, I come back, ah open the door. Men fear, panic Wawataijiao. Women's peace of mind, was about to leave, all of a sudden from the grave in a deep voice from Yin: girl, you forgot key ah key. Appalled by the woman, wah-wah run. At this time drilled from the grave of the Raider said: rely on, I held up the work, you scared to death, the Raider's voice faded, was found next to the old man had a tombstone is engraved with a chisel, out of curiosity, asked, the old man said angrily , To hell with it, they carved my name wrong ... ... the Raider shouting, the Wawa Jiao run. An old man sneered: "rely on, and I am pinching, but also a bit tender ... ..."


笑话爆笑图片:美女尿裤子了

一女子下夜班,一男子尾随图谋不轨,女子慎怕,路过坟地,灵机一动,对坟墓说:爸爸,我回来了,开门啊。男子大惧,哇哇大叫奔逃。女子心安,正要离开,忽然从坟墓中传来阴深深的声音:闺女,你又忘了带鈅匙啊。女子惊骇,也哇哇奔逃。这时从坟墓里钻出个盗墓的说到:靠,耽误我工作,吓死你们 ,盗墓的话音刚落,发现旁边有个老 头正拿著凿子刻墓碑,好奇,问之,老头愤怒地说,他妈的,他们把我的名字刻错了……盗墓的大叫,哇哇叫著奔逃。老头冷笑一声:“靠,敢和我抢生意,还嫩点儿……”

Humor Comedy picture: beautiful women between the legs gone

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Humor Comedy picture: beautiful women between the legs gone

State TV, Film and Television, "Chimura 10,000 project" after the implementation of the cottage in the remote western Hunan has also been on television. Walled young people, migrant workers, an elderly husband and wife watch TV every day, looking at a gala presentation at , Did not dispute the old life husband and wife have taken place in a heated debate:


Lao Qi: for Taiwan, for Taiwan, please do not stare at women on the eyes straight, you get a call in the evening what you did not move, saying that the eye is not so.

Old lady: Do you eat their better vinegar, a woman heard a lot of these men, a Rengaomatai, is also how I turn mile, you will not do Kanji Yan?

Lao Qi: see looked on, the chair of the total how you move forward, is not to go into TV yo.

Old lady: How strange, how they have to open the lower part of the body as high as the hole it?

Lao Qi: You stared at the thigh to see what other people! Do not understand that? Tailor in the city are new, under heavy scissors, a hole longer do.

Old lady: Why should they breast exposed to it?

Lao Qi (Ningliaoyixia old lady's ears): You have too much more, ashamed to see a woman's breast!

Old lady: I do not look, they come out of it!

Lao Qi: the city is not the same woman, eat well, have bigger breast.

Old lady: That, of course, is heard to drink milk, cattle, large breast on it.

Lao Qi: women still do the city good to drink milk.

Old lady: I want to have something for you to the city.

Lao Qi: Why do you drink a woman grew up in breast milk yo, you heard on TV talk about what you are cattle, cattle they are!


笑话爆笑图片:美女两腿之间走光了

国家电影电视部电视"千村万户工程"落实后,湘西偏远的山寨里也有了电视.寨里年轻人都外出打工了,一对老夫妻天天守着电视机,在看一场颁奖晚会时,一生没有争吵的老夫妻发生了激烈的争论:


老妻:换台换台,你别盯着女人眼睛就直了,晚上叫你拿个什么东西你就是不动,说是眼睛不好使.

老夫:你别吃她们的醋好不,听说这些女人有很多男人的,一个个人高马大,怎么也轮不到我哩,看几眼不行么?

老妻:看就看呀,椅子怎么总往前移呀,是不是要钻进电视里去哟.

老夫:真奇怪,她们的下身怎么都要开那么高的口子呢?

老妻:你盯着人家大腿看干嘛!那不明白?城里的裁缝都是新手,剪刀下重了,口子拉长了嘛.

老夫:那她们为什么要把奶子露出来呢?

老妻(拧了一下老夫的耳朵):你越来越过份了,看女人的奶子不害臊!

老夫:又不是我要看,它们掉出来了嘛!

老妻:城里女人就不一样,吃得好,奶子都大些.

老夫:那当然,听说是喝的牛奶,牛大,奶子就大呀.

老妻:还是做城里女人好,有牛奶喝.

老夫:要不我进城给你买点去.

老妻:你以为什么女人都喝牛奶长大奶子哟,你没听电视里讲什么很牛么,她们都属牛!

Humor Comedy picture: This is how to explain it with her husband? ? Chousi it!

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Humor Comedy picture: This is how to explain it with her husband? ? Chousi it!

His wife was busy in the kitchen to prepare breakfast, her husband beat her on the buttocks about, say, "If you can tough it out, do not have to wear an elastic pants." Endure his wife, Dali, he did not. The next day, in his wife's breast on a captured, said: "If you can tough it out, do not have a Dairu Zhao." Impatient wife, his crotch in a film about, said: "You If it can engage in hard, we do not have to be a cuckold of. "


笑话爆笑图片:这怎么跟老公解释呢??愁死了!

妻子在厨房里忙着准备早餐,丈夫在她的屁股上拍了一下,说,“你要是能把这搞硬,就不用穿弹力裤了。”妻子强忍着,没搭理他。第二天,他又在妻子的乳房上抓了一把,说:“你要是能把这搞硬,就不用戴乳罩了。”妻子不耐烦了,在他裤裆里拍了一下,说:“你要是能把这搞硬,就不用戴绿帽了。”

Humor Comedy picture: I am the youngest of the most beautiful car models

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Humor Comedy picture: I am the youngest of the most beautiful car models

Mother neighborhood: 'The little girl, cold day at the entrance of a person you do, not how the house alone? '
  little girl: 'Dad, Mom in a row. '
  neighborhood Mother: 'do not Xianghua, who is your father? '
  little girl: 'This is the reason for their quarrel. '


笑话爆笑图片:我是最小最美的车模特

居委会大妈∶『小女孩,大冷天你一个人站在门口乾什麽,怎麽不在屋里待著?』
小女孩∶『爸爸,妈妈在吵架。』
居委会大妈∶『不象话,你爸爸是谁?』
小女孩∶『这就是他们吵架的原因。』

Humor Comedy picture: real cow! Really long! !


Humor Comedy picture: real cow! Really long! !

Cows hit the cat, courtesy of the cows and say hello, but cows make fun of cats, said: "You're such a small on a long beard!"
The cat is very angry: "You Mimi how big the Dai Xiongzhao not!"


笑话爆笑图片:真牛!真长!!

猫碰到奶牛,彬彬有礼的和奶牛打招呼,奶牛却取笑猫说:“你这么小就长胡子!”
  猫很生气的说:“你咪咪怎么这么大了也不戴胸罩呀!”

Humor Comedy picture: the pro-war, brother, father and son soldiers into battle!

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Humor Comedy picture: the pro-war, brother, father and son soldiers into battle!

A Fupo with their dog walking in the streets. After the end of the flyover, I saw a beggar, she bent to scoff at her. She walked over and said: "You told me the dog say Dad, I give you 100 yuan." Beggars, said: "If I told Voice of ten?" Fupo impatiently: "stupid, it is not 1000 Yuan. "Beggar on the front of the dog Fupo said:" Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad. "

笑话爆笑图片:打仗亲兄弟,上阵父子兵!

有一个富婆带着自己的狗在街上走。经过天桥底,看见一个乞丐,她就一心去奚落一下她。她走过去,说:“你对我的狗说一声爸,我就给你100元。”乞丐说:“要是我叫十声呢?”富婆不耐烦地说:“笨蛋,那不就是1000元。”乞丐就对着富婆的狗说:“爸,爸,爸,爸,爸,爸,爸,爸,爸。”

Humor Comedy picture: KU head and the back of the positive!

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Humor Comedy picture: KU head and the back of the positive!

M: "Comparing what point do you think I pretty?"
M: "You're the most beautiful hair."
M: "Why?"
M: "because it covered most of your face."


笑话爆笑图片:KU头的正面和背面!

女:“你认为我哪一点比较漂亮?”
  男:“你的发型最漂亮。”
  女:“为什么?”
  男:“因为它遮住了你大部分的脸。”

Humor Comedy picture: two men and a woman in bed!

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Humor Comedy picture: two men and a woman in bed!

After the three P's children!

A woman walked into the police station to apply for household registration comrades asked, "Comrade, I would like to give my children into account, how do I ask?"

, A comrade said: "The name of the Arab-Israeli Jiaosha?"

The woman revealed embarrassing expression Yuyanyouzhi.

"What he difficult? Please say so, perhaps we can help on." Comrade ask the police.

"Ah, yes, that night I told the three men Shangguo Chuang, surnamed Gao, a Lee, surnamed Chen. I am also not sure who the children of the Xingsha? How to do this? "The anxious woman said.

Police comrades said: "But wait, wait, good name, I help you from a family name, family name, 'Guo' it."

"Why Guo name?" The woman asked, puzzled.

Police comrades said: "The family name high above take 'a bit cross', take the following Lee's' son' word, take the family name Chen 'left ear', is not a word Guo it?, There were three , Who is not angry. "

"Ah, justified this fair, but under the new name, and how people play?" The woman asked.

"I help you play a character called 'spring' it." Chip in another police said.

"Why is called 'Spring'?" Woman who also asked not understand.

Police comrades said: "You are not on the same day with the three men Shang Guochuang it? 'Spring' is the word to open three on the same day means."

"Ah, the level of agreement was the scene at that time. But can no longer be able to help a word?" A little woman who said the push for too much.

"Well, to help people to help in the end, Buddha sent into days. To help you play a 'sea' word." Yet another to watch the police said.

" 'Sea' and what does this mean?" Woman who also asked not understand.

Police comrades, said: " 'Sea' is open to each point, that is to say that night every man has a little contribution."

The woman said, blushing: "The full name of the expense, including the circumstances surrounding the matter should be regarded as a clear picture. Thank you, the child's name is called 'Guochun Hai' it!
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Reprint, non-original, non-malicious, if offended, please forgive!


笑话爆笑图片:两男一女在床上!

三P后的孩子!

有一个女子走进派出所,向办理户口登记的同志问“同志,我想给我孩子入户口,请问怎么办?”

  一位同志说:“叫啥姓名阿?”

  那位女子露出了为难的表情,欲言又止。

  “有啥困难?请说出来,或许我们能帮上忙。”警察同志问。

  “嗯,是这样,那天晚上我跟三位男人上过床,一位姓高、一位姓李、一位姓陈。我也搞不清楚孩子是谁的,该姓啥?这怎么办?”女子着急的说。

  警察同志说:“别急,别急,姓好起,我帮你起个姓,就姓‘郭’吧。”

  “干吗姓郭?”那位女子不解地问。

  警察同志说:“姓高的取上面‘一点一横一口’,姓李的取下面‘子’字,姓陈的取‘左耳旁’,不就是一个郭字吗?,三人都有份,谁都不生气。”

  “嗯,有道理,这公平,但有了姓,名怎么起呢?”那位女子问。

  “我帮你起一个字,就叫‘春’吧。”另一位警察插嘴说。

  “干吗叫‘春’呢?”那位女子又不解地问。

  警察同志说:“你不是同一天跟三位男人上过床吗?‘春’字拆开来就是三人同一天的意思。”

  “嗯,有水平,很吻合当时的情景。但能不能再帮忙起一个字?”那位女子有点得寸进尺的说。

  “好好,帮人帮到底,送佛送上天。就帮你起个‘海’字。”又有一位看热闹的警察说。

  “‘海’又是什么意思?”那位女子又不解地问。

  警察同志说:“‘海’拆开来是每人一点,也就是说那天晚上每位男人都有一点贡献。”

  那位女子红着脸说:“姓名能全面慨括事情来龙去脉,总算交待清楚了。谢谢,孩子的名字就叫‘郭春海’吧 !
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转载,非原创,无恶意,如有得罪,请宽恕!

Humor Comedy picture: really want to live in their shadow

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Humor Comedy picture: really want to live in their shadow

Mr. teach a treat, kill a chicken, cook a pot of turnip, the more than 20 students eat. Chicken of the soul rather unfair to complain Yama said, "I'm too small to house the master gas! Treat chickens are common, but should not be a chicken more than 20 invited guests to eat." Yama do not believe that the chicken said: "The carrot can testify . "Yama Luo Buti had to interrogation. Radish said: "You are not too chicken to speak honestly, the masters of the day dinner, I only Tang Guo, not even the shadow of the chicken did not."


笑话爆笑图片:真想活在自己的阴影里

有一个教书先生请客,杀了一只鸡,煮了一锅萝卜,请了二十多个学生来吃。鸡的魂魄颇感不平,向阎王告状说,“我家主人太小气!杀鸡请客是常事,但不该一只鸡请二十多个客人吃。”阎王不信,鸡说:“萝卜可以作证。”阎王就把萝卜提来审问。萝卜说道:“你这鸡说话太不老实,那天主人请客,只有我在汤锅里,连鸡的影子也没有。”

Humor Comedy picture: the extended family, married to a time when rented!

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Humor Comedy picture: the extended family, married to a time when rented!


Millionaire's luxury open longer, "Lincoln" car through a village when they saw two street beggars are eating weeding, a millionaire car stopped immediately.

"Why are you eating grass?"

"We really do not have the money ......" a beggar replied.

"It's on your car, go to my house."

"I have at home wife and two children, a beggar ......" murmured.

"They called!" Rich man pointed to another beggar. "You have to bring your families here."

"My family can be more of the population, in addition to his wife, five children there." Beggars another said.

"It does not matter, to call, go!"

In this way, the two beggars and their families all got on a vehicle, is a good car length. Exercise on the way, the wife of a beggar's gratitude: "the boss, you were very good and we do not even the poorest people you can go home.

Millionaire replied: "no, I have just come back from abroad, the house has no one to look after, the grass in the yard may be one meter high, you can eat Enough!


笑话爆笑图片:加长系列的,结婚的时候去租来!


百万富翁开着豪华的加长“林肯”轿车经过一个村落时,看见路旁有两个乞丐正在拔草吃,百万富翁随即停下车。

  “你们为什么吃草?”

  “我们实在是没有钱......”一个乞丐答道。

  “真是的,上车吧,到我家去。”

  “我家里还有老婆和两个孩子......”一个乞丐嘟囔道。

  “把他们叫来!”富翁指了指另一个乞丐。“还有你,把你的家属也叫来。”

  “我家人口可多,除了老婆外,还有五个孩子。”另一个乞丐说道。

  “没关系,都叫来,快去!”

  就这样,两个乞丐和他们的家属都上了车,好在是加长车。行使途中,一个乞丐的老婆感激的说道:“老板,您人真好,连我们这样的贫穷的人您都能请到家。

  百万富翁答道:“没什么,我刚刚从国外回来,家宅一直没人照看,院子里的草坪可能有一米多高了,你们可以吃个够 !

Humor Comedy picture: good fun! Strong smoke!

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Humor Comedy picture: good fun! Strong smoke!


Quit smoking

Wife: The nicotine in cigarettes too much, too vulnerable to cancer, which led me to quit it!
Cardiff: really, I only do you not to smoke.


笑话爆笑图片:好过瘾!大力吸!


戒 烟

妻:烟里的尼古丁太多了,容易得癌,为了我把烟戒了吧!
夫:真是的,我又不是为了你才抽烟。